Friday, February 10, 2006

Differences between Men and Women

A guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months? And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of. And Roger is thinking: "Gosh. Six months. And Elaine is thinking: "But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? "And Roger is thinking: "Hmmm. . . so that means it was . . . Let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here. And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more commitment; maybe he has sensed even before I sensed it that was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it! That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600! And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure. And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs. And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy. And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take that warranty and...!!! Roger, Elaine says aloud. What? says Roger, startled. Please don't torture yourself like this, she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears.
Maybe I should never have . . . I feel so . . . (She breaks down, sobbing.) What? says Roger. I'm such a fool, Elaine sobs. I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse. There's no horse? says Roger. You think I'm a fool, don't you? Elaine says. No! says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer. It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time, Elaine says.(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) Yes, he says.(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way? she says. What way? says Roger. That way about time, says Elaine. Oh, says Roger. Yes. (Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.) Thank you, Roger, she says. Thank you, says Roger. Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months,never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either. Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: .....Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Do You Know The Time

If your life were a 24 hour day, what time would it be? Based on the average lifespan of 77 years...
If you are 21, it is 6:30 a.m. Time to wake up.
If you are 29, it is 9:00 a.m. Time to get busy.
If you are 38, it is noon - Some of you are out to lunch.
If you are 55, it is almost 5 p.m. and you need to be finishing up your work.
If you are 65, it is 8:15 p.m. and the day is almost gone.

What are you doing with your time? James 4:14 says "What is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away."

Life is very brief. It is a rare treasure. What time is it in your day? What do you need to do before the day is done?

Monday, February 06, 2006

Monday Morning Quarterback

What a day! Sunday was anything but a day of rest, yet I would not have wished it otherwise. Two great worship services with awesome, moving music and a sense of expectation in the church. The afternoon was a bit hectic with getting the screen set up at the house requiring two sepparate trips for parts and connectors and in the end I still had to call a gracious Mark Colvin to come and rescue me again. I don't know what I would do without the help so many wonderful people. All in all the Super Bowl Parties were a hit and it provided some much needed time to strengthen relationships beyond Sunday Mornings. As for the worship services, we saw many of our first time guests from last Sunday return again this Sunday and we hope that they will continue. Also, some great people came to visit after finding us on the internet. In addition to those who came with Friends Neighbors and Loved Ones. We missed some of our regulars who were out sick and taking care of personal responsibilities. We hold them up in our prayers. Every Sunday is an edventure as we come together for worship and fellowship and make new friends along the way. The best part about it is that we only have 6 more days until Sunday.